Post-marital …

Walk a do-unto-others mile in Tom Ackerman’s shoes.

At religion dispatches he writes in
A Marriage Manifesto… Of Sorts:

I no longer recognize marriage. It’s a new thing I’m trying.

Turns out it’s fun.

Yesterday I called a woman’s spouse her boyfriend.

She says, correcting me, “He’s my husband,”
“Oh,” I say, “I no longer recognize marriage.”

The impact is obvious. I tried it on a man who has been in a relationship for years,

“How’s your longtime companion, Jill?”

“She’s my wife!”
“Yeah, well, my beliefs don’t recognize marriage.”

Fun. And instant, eyebrow-raising recognition. Suddenly the majority gets to feel what the minority feels. In a moment they feel what it’s like to have their relationship downgraded, and to have a much taken-for-granted right called into question because of another’s beliefs.

Just replace the words husband, wife, spouse, or fiancé with boyfriend, girlfriend, special friend, or longtime companion. There is a reason we needed stronger words for more serious relationships. We know it; now they can see it.

Andrew Sullivan responds:

I don’t think any heterosexual in America has really ever questioned his or her right to marry – or the expectation of social status it brings with it. This thought experiment helps jolt the mind into seeing the world through the other’s eyes. Which is rarely a bad thing.

Are you ready for that?