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Southern Religion

The humor in attempted rape is (nonexistent)

A choir at Liberty University, “the largest evangelical Christian university in the world,” based a humorous a cappella Christmas song on one written about an attempted rape. Moving Christa Brown to review the origin of the song and ask:

A parody about an attempted rape in the projects is “fun”? This is how Christian young people at a private university show humor?

The humor in rape eludes us too, Christa.

You may disagree, even after reading the backstory:

Addendum

There are other, forcefully expressed views:

December 19, 2010 Posted by | Religion, Satire, SBC | , , | 4 Comments

What human rights?

Andrew Brown writes, Swift-like, for The Guardian:

The essential point about human rights is that there is no evidence whatsoever that they actually exist. Children are born without any belief in them and they were certainly never heard of in all the millennia of prehistory. Even in recorded history, they are a very new invention, and one which has been confined, even in principle, to a very small part of the world. They are based entirely on documents written by human beings, and produced through squalid political processes nothing like the later myths. Countries where enemies of the state are routinely tortured before being executed sign declarations of rights with as much enthusiasm as peaceful democracies.

October 26, 2010 Posted by | Satire | | Comments Off on What human rights?

The opening cannonade of this year’s war on Christmas

We overlooked that barrage, but Susan Campbell heard it:

… I just won $25. I bet a friend (a member of the clergy in a mainline church, no less) that the first salvo in the fake War on Christmas would be launched prior to Halloween this year — the traditional time for retailers to start hanging their garlands.

And I was right. Gary L. Cass, of the Christian Anti-Defamation Commssion, sent out a warning email at 12:07 p.m. Tuesday.

So we skipped the war on Halloween this year? Well, in any event, “Yes, Virginia, there is a” WarAClaus.

September 27, 2010 Posted by | Cultural, Satire | , , | Comments Off on The opening cannonade of this year’s war on Christmas

The evolution of candy [not a ‘sweet science’]

Gummi Worms

Gummi Worms

Norman Jameson, editor of the North Carolina Biblical Recorder, apparently while at Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee President/Chief Executive Morris Chapman’s retirement dinner tweeted:

Bob Rodgers tells candy battle story that affirms evolution. Squeezing candies together, weaker of species cracks and is eaten.

Er, but how do the surviving (uneaten) pieces reproduce?

By hatching Gummi worms from Easter eggs in the candy bowl?

September 22, 2010 Posted by | Satire, Science | | Comments Off on The evolution of candy [not a ‘sweet science’]

The ClimateGate swings back

Flog whom? Hmmmm:

May 14, 2010 Posted by | Satire, Science, Uncategorized | | Comments Off on The ClimateGate swings back

Noah’s Ark refound again

Chester Duggit, “retired panel beater from Castle Bromwich,” rocked the archeological community on its heels with the discovery of Noah’s Ark at Langley Hill [aerial view]:

Duggit informed us that he’d found a load of old rotting wood on Langley Hill, which when strategically placed, appear to form the outline of Noah’s Ark, complete with animal cages, water feeders, a broken tropical fish tank, and a rusty supermarket trolley, which Duggit assumes was used by Noah to ferry supplies of animal feed from a local Tesco store to the Ark.

When we pointed out that Langley Hill is a long way from Mount Ararat, Duggit explained that Noah was probably an economic refugee, who set sail in the Ark in search of agency work at the nearby BSA motorcycle factory.

Langley Hill is of course in England [read the entire spoof].

More seriously and similarly credible, an evangelical Christian Hong Kong filmmaker and Turkish scientists say, ABC News reports, that they have found Noah’s Ark encased in ice on Mount Ararat.

April 28, 2010 Posted by | Satire | | 2 Comments

Demons per day and hour

The Holy See’s chief exorcist, Father Gabriele Amorth, charmed geotechnical engineer Bob Felton to take up his calculator. Because Amorth’s lifetime achievement numbers are so impressive. According to Richard Owen of the Irish Independent:

Father Gabriele Amorth said the Pope “fully believes in liberation from evil, because the Devil lodges in the Vatican. Naturally it is difficult to find proof, but you can see the consequences”. Fr Amorth (85) has been the Vatican’s chief exorcist for 25 years and says he has dealt with 70,000 cases of demonic possession.

Felton began his analysis as follows:

Father Amorth is 85-years old. If we assume he was a prodigy and began his exorcism career at a mere 25-years old, and that he kept a workmanlike pace for 60-years — no ramp-up as he mastered his skills — and worked 6-days a week (resting on Sunday, though Satan doesn’t) without vacations, then …

60-years x 365-days/year x 6/7 = 18,772 days vanquishing demons

Clearly, there are other factors to consider, and consider them Felton does. Here. Arriving at a workday rate of 2.42 hours per demon. An almost supernatural pace.

March 12, 2010 Posted by | Satire | , , | Comments Off on Demons per day and hour

Satire break: Learning to speak ‘teabag’

Warning: Sense of humor required. No. Some folks don’t think this is funny:

January 5, 2010 Posted by | Satire | | Comments Off on Satire break: Learning to speak ‘teabag’

All is lost in the ‘War on Seasons’ Greetings’

U.S. Republicans did no better than British Tories in the war on “Seasons’ Greetings.”

The Tories surrendered and the Republican National Committee deserted under fire to “this blessed time.” Truly. Enlarge the image at right, and weep.

What’s a mumbling old culture warrior to do when his natural allies run and hide?

[H/T: Political Carnival]

December 29, 2009 Posted by | Satire | , , | Comments Off on All is lost in the ‘War on Seasons’ Greetings’

Even Jack Bauer doesn’t want coal and switches

Interrogating Santa doesn’t turn out well for Jack Bauer:

More, equally serious video at the Guardian’s Digital Content Blog.

December 25, 2009 Posted by | Satire | , , | Comments Off on Even Jack Bauer doesn’t want coal and switches